is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
