I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
