I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize