You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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