worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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