Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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