VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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