We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
