the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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