Me too!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
