whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
