I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Randomize
