I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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