So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
