Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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