We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
