So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
