I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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