If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His nipple licking is glorious
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