I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
