Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
