This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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