i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
