This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
