grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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