Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
