I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize