Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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