found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
