my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
