There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
third nipple confirmed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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