I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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