I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
