Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
how drunk are you?
Several
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
