did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
