he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
