i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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