i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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