They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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