All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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