ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize