Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
