did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize