So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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