Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
