She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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