Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
