If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
