UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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