I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize