We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
