The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
