My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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