she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize