someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
