I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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