uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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