I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
