Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
