remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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