Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
