Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
