i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize