You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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