T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
