so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize