She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
