her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
