No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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